Disney Trading: Time For Steampunk

Part of me had been hoping that by ignoring the topic of tonight’s post, that it would simply cease to exist. That my refusal to recognize it would cause it to simply vanish from my mind and the collective Steampunk aesthetic.

I’ve been putting this post off for a week, in that feeble hope.

I’m very sorry to announce that Disney is at it again. Apparently, they weren’t happy enough with just the abomination that is the Mechanical Kingdom. Oh, no! Just redoing all their main characters into a Steampunk aesthetic wasn’t enough for them. They sense there’s money to be made with this whole Steampunk thing, so Disney is apparently determined to squeeze every last penny out of the causal Steampunk who cares only for the look.

These abominations are part of the upcoming limited edition Vinylmation Steampunk set created by Disney Design Group Artist Mike Sullivan and will be purchasable sometime in early 2011.

Here’s what really gets me about this set… it’s just a bunch of figurines with brass paint and cogs. They are literally going to do nothing more than sit on someone’s shelf collecting dust for its entire existence. This wanton spending on positively useless crap produced by large corporations is exactly what Steampunk is against. Disney obviously doesn’t get it, and neither does anyone who buys this.

The Mechanical Kingdom

Okay, so I know that I don’t have to tell you all that one of the greatest things about Steampunk is that it is anti-corporation and supports the individual artisan over the mass produced. I know you all know that.  Steampunk tells corporations to shove their mass produced crap into unspeakable orifices and go to hell.

So, what the hell is this shit?!

If you are as infuriated as I am, I’m going to have to take a moment to encourage you to breathe.

What you see before you is a pin set that will be for sale beginning this month at the Disney theme parks.

Obviously, anyone who buys this shit is not a serious Steampunk. You can’t get much more mass produced than the Disney label. If I see anyone who claims to be a Steampunk wearing this abomination, I can assure you all that I will at the very least not be able to take them seriously. My more likely reaction might involve punching them in the face lectures to the ignorant party on the philosophy of Steampunk and how they are contributing to its commercialization.

Disney, I’m very angry with you! Bad! Keep you hands off Steampunk. The fact that you would even think to create something like this reveals your ignorance of everything that Steampunk stands for and your intent to make a quick buck off of our aesthetic tastes.

No real Steampunk will buy this garbage. It nevertheless irritates me by its very existence.